First Blog

So I have not written my first blog yet so I thought my first one could be about that my Sammy is gone.

He left yesterday morning and after a long night of tossing and turning wondering what time it is and is about time to get up. The alarm clock finally went off and tears started to run down my face as I felt him get up and out of bed. My tummy was in knots and I thought I was going to throw up so bad and I knew it was all about my nerves and the anxiety the chest pains of it all did not help anything. I laid and listen like I do all morning hearing him rinse his face to wake up starting the shower and getting in. When the water turned off I knew it was time for me to get out of bed and start getting ready. I got some jeans on and a t-shirt and pulled my air up and started on my make up. I keep looking in the mirror and seeing him getting ready putting on his uniform and holding back tears. I got my face one and heard Kennedy open her door so I went and held her for a minute or two and then I got her dressed and got her bag together for the morning. Kennedy was waking up and she ran in to the living room she heard her daddy. Sam's face turned red as he picked her and he took her into her room and talk to her and just have a last little minute time together! When he came out it was my turn he grabbed me and I feel into his arms and started to ball. We said our first "see you latter" we didn't want to say "good bye" because its not "good bye" its "see you latter." We made it to base and got his bags in and all and we went and got coffee for Sam and big COKE for me and went back to base to do the waiting game.

I was able to see some other friends go off witch is nice and sad at the same time. The time came for when Kennedy and I had to go home. I gave some friends some hugs and told them to be safe and take care of my Sammy and walked out the door. As the car got closer I was crying harder and harder. Sam loved on Kennedy and put her in the car and then it was my turn. I wanted to freeze time and just enjoy every second I had with Sam. I don't know if I have ever cried as hard as I did yesterday. It was an on going day of crying but I got through it. I think what helped the most was the fact that Sam got stuck in Mane last night. It was nice that he got to stay in a hotel room by him self and get a good nights rest for the rest of his journey today. As sad as I have been I am always happy in a way. I know that my husband is happy to be over their and fighting for his country.. his wife..and child. It will get easier as time goes by and then there will be bad days and really good days but in the end May will be here before I know it witch will amazing. At this moment I am wishing it was May but you cant always get what you want. I am going to enjoy my 4 months with Miss Kennedy and plan different things to keep us busy to help the time go by faster. Having a wonderful family and friends to keep us going is really what we need and that is what we have.

I will up date on Sam as I have them so you all can follow along on whats going on. I will also just have fun blogs as I think of them and I have some in mind that I will do on the nights I cant really sleep and I don't want to do anything else.